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Author Topic: Down on the farm  (Read 1165 times)

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Offline Texas Ranger

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Down on the farm
« on: August 12, 2008, 11:41:32 AM »
This is an actual letter from someone who writes, and farms.
'I had the idea that I was going to rope a deer, put it in a stall, feed it
up on corn for a couple of weeks, then kill it and eat it.

The first step in this adventure was getting a deer. I figured that, since
they congregate at my cattle feeder and do not seem to have much fear of me
when we are there (a bold one will sometimes come right up and sniff at the
bags of feed while I am in the back of the truck not 4 feet away), it should
not be difficult to rope one, get up to it and toss a bag over its head (to
calm it down) then hog tie it and transport it home.

I filled the cattle feeder then hid down at the end with my rope. The
cattle, having seen the roping thing before, stayed well back. They were not
having any of it.

After about 20 minutes, my deer showed up -- 3 of them. I picked out a
likely looking one, stepped out from the end of the feeder, and threw my
rope. The deer just stood there and stared at me.

I wrapped the rope around my waist and twisted the end so I would have a
good hold. The deer still just stood and stared at me, but you could tell it
was mildly concerned about the whole rope situation.

I took a step towards took a step away. I put a little tension on
the rope and then received an education.

The first thing that I learned is that, while a deer may just stand there
look at you funny while you rope it; they are spurred to action when you
start pulling on that rope. That deer EXPLODED.

The second thing I learned is that pound for pound, a deer is a LOT
stronger than a cow or a colt. A cow or a colt in that weight range I could
fight down with a rope and with some dignity. A deer-- no chance.

That thing ran, bucked, twisted, and pulled. There was no controlling it
and certainly no getting close to it. As it jerked me off my feet and
started dragging me across the ground, it occurred to me that having a deer
on a rope was not nearly as good an idea as I had originally imagined.

The third thing I learned, the only upside, is that they do not have as
much stamina as many other animals.

A brief 10 minutes later, it was tired and not nearly as quick to jerk me
off my feet and drag me when I managed to get up. It took me a few minutes
to realize this , since the blood flowing out of the big gash in my head
mostly blinded me. At that point, I had lost my taste for corn-fed venison.
I just wanted to get that devil creature off the end of that rope.

I figured that if I just let it go with the rope hanging around its neck,
it would likely die slow and painfully somewhere.

At the time, there was no love at all between that deer and me. At that
moment, I hated the thing, and I would venture a guess that the feeling was

Despite the gash in my head and the several large knots where I had
cleverly arrested the deer's momentum by bracing my head against various
large rocks as it dragged me across the ground, I could still think clearly
enough to recognize that there was a small chance that I shared some tiny
amount of responsibility for the situation we were in, so I didn't want the
deer to have it suffer a slow death, so I managed to get it line back up
in between my truck and the feeder - a little trap I had set before
hand...kind of like a squeeze chute.

I got it to back in there and I started moving up so I could get my rope

The fourth thing I learned!!!! Did you know that deer bite? They do! I
never in a million years would have thought that a deer would bite somebody,
so I was very surprised when I reached up there to grab that rope and the
deer grabbed hold of my wrist.

Now, when a deer bites you, it is not like being bit by a horse where they
just bite you and then let go. A deer bites you and shakes its head --almost
like a pit bull. They bite HARD and it hurts.

The proper thing to do when a deer bites you is probably to freeze and draw
back slowly. I tried screaming and shaking instead. My method was

It seems like the deer was biting and shaking for several minutes, but it
was likely only several seconds.

I, being smarter than a deer (though you may be questioning that claim by
now) tricked it. While I kept it busy tearing the biseps out of my right
arm, I reached up with my left hand and pulled that rope loose.

That was when I got my fifth lesson in deer behavior for the day. Deer will
strike at you with their front feet. They rear right up on their back feet,
strike right about head, and shoulder level, and their
hooves are surprisingly sharp.

I learned a long time ago that, when an animal -- like a horse --strikes at
you with their hooves and you cannot get away easily, the best thing to do
is try to make a loud noise and make an aggressive move towards the animal.
This will usually cause them to back down a bit so you can escape.

This was not a horse. This was a deer, so obviously, such trickery would
not work. In the course of a millisecond, I devised a different
strategy. I screamed like a woman and tried to turn and run.

The reason I had always been told NOT to try to turn and run from a horse
that paws at you is that there is a good chance that it will hit you in the
back of the head.

Deer may not be so different from horses after all, besides being twice as
strong and 3 times as evil, because the second I turned to run, it hit me
right in the back of the head and knocked me down.

Lesson six... Now, when a deer paws at you and knocks you down, it does not
immediately leave. I suspect it does not recognize that the danger has
passed. What they do instead is paw your back and jump up and down on you
while you are laying there crying like a little girl and covering your head.
I finally managed to crawl under the truck and the deer went away.

So now I know why when people go deer hunting they bring a rifle with a
scope so that they can be somewhat equal to the Prey.
The Ranger, home of Texas Forestry

Online beenthere

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Re: Down on the farm
« Reply #1 on: August 12, 2008, 12:26:07 PM »
A good story, and I suspect could be quite true... :) :) :)

Having only roped a deer once, I believe the deer could behave just like that.  :)

The story goes.....
 I roped this buck after I shot it, left the gun at the tree stand, as I thought it was dead.
With a drag rope, and a gutting knife.....and the deer gaining enough fortitude to keep moving about 10 feet away when I approached, the roping was the only thing that came to mind.

Once roped, I tied the other end to some bushes. Then worked my way up the rope with knife in hand, to carefully avoid the hooves and the antlers and deal the final blow.
south central Wisconsin
 It may be that my sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others

Offline LeeB

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Re: Down on the farm
« Reply #2 on: August 14, 2008, 01:48:35 AM »
That was absolutely hilarious. Almost busted a gut laughing. Hope you don't mind that I passed it to a few freinds.
'98 LT40HDD/Lombardini, Case 580L, Cat D4C, JD 3032 tractor, JD 5410 tractor, Husky 346, 372 and 562XP's. Stihl MS180 and MS361, 1998 and 2006 3/4 Ton 5.9 Cummins 4x4's, 1989 Dodge D100 w/ 318, and a 1966 Chevy C60 w/ dump bed.

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