Funny things kids say

thecfarm · March 08, 2015, 07:09:00 AM

Grandson was maybe 3-4,had him in the garden. I think he pointed at every "madtor" in the garden and said madtor nice and loud. He was mighty excited to see tomatoes.

Than he loved to see trees fall. I would take him and cut some down just for him. We would go look at each and every tree and I would tell him what I was looking for and why. Not that he understood,but it is part of learning. When I would get done talking and showing him what and why,I would tell him,go to the tractor. Tractor was parked way off,but in a place so he could still see. No keys in the tractor either. He would stop and play along the way and look at things and I would tell him to keep moving. He had to sit on the tractor seat so I could keep track of him. Would take a few minutes to make the "long" journey. But that was fine,he,we was having a good time. After the tree was on the ground,I would give it a few minutes to settle down and would tell him,"all set" He would jump off that tractor and that long journey was mighty quick than.

Roxie · March 08, 2015, 07:50:37 AM

When my granddaughter (pictured to the left) was three, her mommy and daddy (my son) decided not to have any more children. He had the snip snip operation the week before Easter. On Easter morning, Lindsay was dressed in her finest and as she ran to sit next to her Mom Mom Joyce in church, she tripped and propelled her hips into the chair next to Mom Mom. The room grew quiet, and Lindsay grabbed herself and said, "My balls are killing me!"

timberlinetree · March 08, 2015, 08:24:27 AM

I told the 4 yr old something was on his fore head. The 3 yr old said" any thing on my 3 head".
With kids had to change some words and started saying holy cow. The little one started saying holy chicken. One of the best things about easing kids is the things they come up with. :D

Just Me · March 08, 2015, 01:38:26 PM

Yukon, I just noticed that you are in Wheatland.

My brother and I raced at the track there in the off road races at the Lucas track there a few years ago. When everything was all set up I spent an afternoon driving around the back roads around there. That is some beautiful country! I thought about moving there for a while I liked it so much. Nice place to call home.....

Larry

Roxie · March 08, 2015, 02:49:46 PM

The three head is very funny. Children are so literal. :D

starbits · March 08, 2015, 06:50:51 PM

When my oldest was 2 she told me she was tired as a rock. "Rocks are tired?" I asked. "Yes" she replied "Rocks are always sleeping." Many times I have been tired as a rock.

At 3 years old I was waiting to turn left at a light and she said
"Go Dad"
"There is a car in front of us I have to wait for him"
She leaned toward the open window and yelled
"Move"
"Get out of the way"
"What are you waiting for Christmas"
Then she looked at me and said "Push him Dad!"

That impatient child is now 21 and shares the road with the rest of us.

Starbits

yukon cornelius · March 08, 2015, 08:57:38 PM

Quote from: Just Me on March 08, 2015, 01:38:26 PM
Yukon, I just noticed that you are in Wheatland.

My brother and I raced at the track there in the off road races at the Lucas track there a few years ago. When everything was all set up I spent an afternoon driving around the back roads around there. That is some beautiful country! I thought about moving there for a while I liked it so much. Nice place to call home.....

Larry

The Lucas track is really nice and very affordable. we go to the monster truck show every year. we had always gone to an indoor arena for them before so the outdoor style was amazing when they have room to really run! we are about 10 miles north on Truman lake. great area!

After my grandpa died I had inherited his Santa costume. He had been a Walmart santa for a long time. one Christmas eve we were at my mothers house for family Christmas. We were living in town on the street behind their house. I told the adults I was going to dress up in the costume and peek in the window. "don't let the kids out!" I sneak over and peek in. the adults saw me and told the kids to look. That's when the rowdiest kid yells "GET SANTA!" as things generally go no one guarded the door and all the kids run to the door. I take off running. The pants didn't fit very well and wouldn't fit over other pants but for just a short walk over it was no big deal I don't need a belt right? oh no! I am running as fast as I can across the yard with santa pants half down. They were closing in fast so I baled into our camper and had to hold onto the door to keep them out. :D Last time I played Santa for them ;D

yukon cornelius · March 18, 2015, 12:15:25 PM

"Hey Dad, Dodge (our mastiff dog) was sniffin my butt...he said it smelled like carrots...." Henry

"Hey Dad, I need something to eat to make me bigger like you and bubby and momma...I wanna be longer and longer like you" Henry

"Hey momma, did you know that starfish have eyes on there arms?" Henry

sawguy21 · March 18, 2015, 09:30:38 PM

I heard a good one today. Dad was complaining about his kids and remarked that it appeared intelligence had skipped a generation. His son retorted "Grandpa said the same thing".

scleigh · March 18, 2015, 10:39:04 PM

Last weekend I sawed pine logs for a customer and my son, who's 3, came out and played in the saw dust and drove his gator around as usual.
On Sunday night, he looked at me and said " dad, I want some real tools. I need a chainsaw that will cut( he has a toy Husqvarna) and a real screw driver; I'm ready to start cutt'n some logs".
I didnt know weather to cry or laugh.

Pic of my son last spring on his tractor that he broke the front axle and bucket off of......he's rough on equipment!!!!!

SawyerBrown · March 18, 2015, 10:44:04 PM

:D :D :D

especially the part about the screw driver! :D :D

JohnW · March 18, 2015, 11:53:46 PM

As my youngest son was mounting a TV on the wall, his oldest son (about 3 or 4) came in to the room. The conversation went something like this.

Daddy, you're making holes in the wall.
Don't tell Mommy.
MOMMY, Daddy's making holes in the wall.

sandhills · March 19, 2015, 05:49:37 AM

;D

Roxie · March 20, 2015, 05:49:00 PM

I was visiting my (then) six year old grand daughter, Sarah, and I commented on how pretty she looked in her dress. She said, "I wish I wasn't a girl." I said, "Sarah, why would you say that?" She said, "I don't want to have children, I don't like children." I told her that having children will be her decision, and she asked me who I knew that didn't have children. I named three Aunts that were very happy and never had children. She looked at me, and said, "Granma, did you have children?"

Magicman · March 20, 2015, 08:12:32 PM

That's priceless and from the mouth of a babe.

rjwoelk · March 20, 2015, 08:44:11 PM

We raised horses on our farm, and my daughters 6, 8, 9, were on hand when we used the 3 year olds stud for the first time.
They cheered him on, like when he got kicked and started at the mares head, called out " wrong end jerrico" then after the job was done and he slide off the mare my olds says "Dad I think he has a smile on his face"

rjwoelk · March 20, 2015, 08:51:25 PM

My youngest daughter 7
requested having her stud gelded so she could go riding with me. So the vet came out gelded him, he was recovering when my daughter came running off the school bus she runs up to us and asked very excitingly " Did he lose them did he lose them? The vet nearly died laughing. Then she walks over to jerrico and pets him and says " you'll be a better horse for it."

yukon cornelius · March 20, 2015, 09:06:42 PM

I love all these!

Today, from my oldest, as we are working in the shop, " do other people think we smell?" i looked at him puzzled for a bit and I said "well I hope not" he says "Oh! I meant to say like cedar"

Don_Papenburg · March 22, 2015, 11:52:07 PM

scleigh, You should know better than to buy a working boy plastic tools . Deere has metal machines in his size that will hold up to a kid sized job . Or you might have to get him some real tools. ;D

Magicman · March 24, 2015, 01:45:18 PM

When Marty was about 8 years old, I starting buying him "real" tools. Every Christmas it was a set of wrenches/sockets/screwdrivers/drill or whatever else. I told him that he either had to learn to do stuff himself or make enough money to pay someone else to half do it. Good lesson learned, and he is passing it on.

scleigh · March 24, 2015, 10:24:43 PM

@Don_Papenburg , I came in from work this evening and cut grass till dark. Graham, my son, came out and helped me blow off the mower and put it up. He told me he was ready for a john deer lawn mower, but he would need long sleeved shirts, long sleeved pants, safety glasses and ear plugs.......to keep the grass off his body.

Where do they get this stuff? :D

yukon cornelius · March 26, 2015, 10:58:00 AM

Our youngest son is very lets say, particular. Things have to be just exactly right. foods have to be exact shapes or colors. things have to be in certain orders and change is very difficult for him. We don't know why he is this way but god made him this way for a reason so we LOVE him to pieces!

He has such a huge imagination. he plays with imaginary tools and toys and friends even though he has real ones. some times he wants me to help with him with his imaginary work and hands me an imaginary tool. then he looks at me and says "Dad, you cant hold it like that" and takes the imaginary tool away, turns it around or upside down and hands it back :D

SawyerBrown · March 26, 2015, 11:15:18 AM

:D :D :D

When the girls were little (maybe 7 and 5), one of the things they wanted for Christmas was a "Barbie car". Now, no kids of mine are going to drive a "Barbie car" (even tho they ARE girls), so "we" decided to get them an off-road go cart -- little 5-hp Briggs, knobby tires, etc, including "short" pedals -- that they could buzz around in on our 9 acres. Maybe a little young, but we figured they'd grow into it.

Both were thrilled! As luck would have it, on Christmas day we had a couple of inches of snow on the ground, and the girls wanted to go right out and try it. Megan, the older and more conservative, said she's the oldest so she could go first. So we suited her up, including my full-face motorcycle helmet, and showed her how to make it go and how to turn. She did great, taking it nice and easy and understanding how it worked.

Finally it was Kate's (my wild child) turn, so again the full-face motorcycle helmet (which looked even more ridiculous on a 5-year-old) and a basic demonstration of the controls. Well, she gets in, punches the accelerator to the floor, and off she goes, shooting a rooster tail of snow about 10' high, doing doughnuts around the fruit trees, getting going full speed and then sliding sideways. After a couple of minutes of this she pulls up beside us, whips off the motorcycle helmet, and with a big grin declares, "Dad, I think I finally got the hang of it!"

Magicman · March 26, 2015, 11:31:29 AM

Quote from: yukon cornelius on March 26, 2015, 10:58:00 AM"Dad, you cant hold it like that" :D

Maybe he is just practicing to be a teenager.

yukon cornelius · March 26, 2015, 02:13:48 PM

I will now tell one on me ;D One Christmas I wanted a Gi Joe fortress thing that was so amazing. I got a different version instead. it had a desk thing in it that slid up and down and it was installed upside down. I said "Santa sure must be dumb, he put this on upside down!" I was quickly assured that he was not dumb and it was taken away for a while until I realized who was the dumb one ;D I think I might have realized where henry gets his orneriness from.