A Funny Story

[Tom]

That's funny.  I had an experiment with Cider in Ridgecrest N.C. at the Baptist Camp, but nothing like that.  I didn't know a jug was that powerful but I guess there is a lot of energy that gets built up in there. :D  

Is that where you learned to drywall?...The start of the Carpentry career? :D

[Tom]

Oh, the dumb stuff we do as kids.
 
Charlie and I had a little 8 foot sailboat when we were little.  It was called a "Dart" and was made from strips of cedar covered with glass and carried one triangular shaped sail on a mast that was stepped in the bow.  We had a great time with it until its sail fell in disrepair and the glass began to separate from the cedar.
 
Mom had an apartment on the N. Beach in Ft. Pierce for a week of one summer and we boys were having a grand old time.  Charlie, Ugly Eddy and I took the boat ,  with a couple of hand made oars, and put it in a little backwater stream in the mangrove swamps and went exploring. The further west we got the bigger the stream became until we came to an opening close to A1A.  Charlie had decided he wanted to go back but Ugly Eddy and I wanted to continue our adventure so Charlie got out and walked barefooted through the sandspurs back to the Apartment which was about a mile away,.
 
Ugly Eddy and I ventured on.  Eventually we arrived at the Indian River and exited the mangrove swamps.  There was no communication to decide where we were going, we were just going.  We foraged on and before we knew it were in the river.  The Indian River at this point is quite large.  It varies from 2 miles to 1/2 mile wide.  Where we were was North of the Ft Pierce Inlet and the tide was going out so once we entered the river there was no turning around.  Our paddles would do no more than propel us at a slow pace, less than a shuffle if you were walking.
 
Under the North Bridge we were carried and then south into the "turning basin".  The turning basin was a large opening in the river where the Ocean's Inlet and the river met.  Ships would come in and load up with oranges and grapefruit there, turn around and go back to sea.  That's why they called it the "turning basin".
 
The tide was falling and the current was roaring out the inlet.  We paddled as hard as we could to get to and stay towards the West side of the basin to keep from being swept out to sea.  On the west side the current was less and we could make a little better headway.  Realizing that we were in a fix and couldn't return from whence we came,  we passed under the South Bridge and fought the current until we came to Moore's Creek.   This creek was a small stream about 20 feet wide that naturally drained  some of the lowlands of Ft. Pierce to the Indian River.  We entered the creek and paddled west, passing beneath 2nd street(the business street) and 4th street(US-1).  To get under US-1 required that we bend over and pass through a culvert pipe that went under the 4 lane hiway.  That was scary.  Then we found ourselves in the 7th street Park.  This was not too far from my house and even though we had not discussed it, had headed there knowing that  we wanted to get as close to home as possible.
 
We pulled the boat up in the park and found that we were so sunburned that we could hardly get out of the boat.  We inched to the swings and each sat in one, leaning forward on the chains because we couldn't raise our arms.
 
Across the street was Baird's Funeral Home.  They were friends of our families and had a son about our age.  Ugly Eddy finally got up enough energy to walk across the street and call his Daddy.
 
His Daddy arrived and picked us and the boat up.  We were in such poor condition that nobody fussed at us.  I was taken to my house and treated with salves and sent to bed.  A couple of days later when the fevers receded  I was again out of the house looking for another adventure.  Ugly Eddy didn't fair as good as I.  He was in bed for over a week with High fevers and doctor's visits.  
 
It was a stupid thing to do but it sure was fun and if I had the physical ability today I would probably do it again.  We could  have died a number of different times and just didn't realize what a situation we had gotten ourselves into.
 
Children are fearless.
 

[CHARLIE]

OK...there it is in black and white.  After reading Tom's boat story, you should be able to determine which one of us is the smartest ;D ;D   Excuse me while I get back to the books...... :P

[Tom]

"Three Little Piggies, See Spot Run, The Little Engine that Could, Peter Rabbit,  the Cat in the Hat, ........................ :D




cottontail

[Tom]

The funny things that happen when we are trying to be proper.
 
My Coast Guard buddy, Roger, and I were fishing in the St. John's River, close to the mouth, one day in my 14 foot flat bottom boat .  It was a hot day and the water was quite smooth.  Roger always brought a jug of ginger ale or 7-up and drank it hot.  I had to have water from the cooler.  
 
When you have fished together enough, conversation becomes minimized and you find that you just sit in the boat and enjoy each other's company.  Roger and I had fished together over a period of at least a year and had reached this point.
 
I was sitting in the stern of the boat, where every respectable boat owner/captain sits.  Something needed to be tended to so I stood up and turned to the transom.
 
Roger said,"Is that chewing tobacco in your back pocket"?
 
I didn't chew too often, but when I was out fishing or hunting always kept a pouch of RedMan or, my favorite, Beechnut just in case the urge overcame me and I wanted something to do.
 
"Yes it is", I said almost embarrassed.
 
"Do you mind if I have a chew" he asked?
 
Relieved at being found out and having another chewer in the boat too, I replied, "Of course not.....do you like Beechnut"?  I stretched my hand and pouch out offering it to him.
 
"Oh, yes I do", he said.  "Thankyou very much but I have my own."
 
He took his pouch out of his pocket, drew a big clutch and put it in his cheek.
 
"I've been wanting a chew all day long and thought you didn't chew", he said. " I didn't want to chew in your boat and gross you out."
 
"I've been wanting some too, and was afraid It may bother you",  I said.
 
We both laughed, settled back, put our rods down and had a good long visit.  All this time we had known each other we had not known of each other's fondness of tobacco.
 
 I quit using all forms of tobacco in January of 1980 and would not encourage anyone to start or continue its use,  but this little story just goes to show how little you may know of your best friend when you may think you know it all.
 

[Gordon]

I grew up around sailboats and water so you tend after time to just take some things for granted. But dad being the practical joker he was always had to press the limit at times.

At the time we had a couple of sailboats one being a 17' thistle. Sort of a smaller version of a 19' lighting. A real nice handling boat but pretty jumpy as well.

Well dad used to like to take friends out sailing from work and it was a very cool spring day. Dad was keeping the boat docked right across from the Yacht Club on the Saginaw river and the wind being as it was we had to tack up the river to get to the bay.

One of the friends that day was a man who was very large in size. As we were tacking our way up the river dad had already told him not to move so quick to the low side when tacking. Well this time he jumped to the low side and water starting coming in. Would have been ok if he would have stayed on that side. But what does he do.-Jumps back to the high side.

Well the problem being that it is now the low side and the wind took hold on the sails about the same time his weight hit the side and over the boat went. This was not a boat made to be put on her side. So full of water he says I think I messed up. Dad says I thought I saw a brown spot in your pants and everyone busted out laughing. We got towed back to the dock and pumped the boat out. That was the end of that sailing day. Dad had the sails drying in the living room, mom came home and had a fit. Then she had a good laugh.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Another day dad brought the accountant/bookkeeper from work. Dad had said this guy was smart as a whip when it came to numbers but had no common sense what so ever.

So were out sailing a beautiful day. He asks dad what that thing is. It was the winch to tighten up the jib, the front sail of the boat. But he told him it was to raise and lower the centerboard and if he wanted to the board could be lowered a little bit to make the boat go faster.

Shame of it was that you could look at the other one and see it holding the jib taught. This one had a slack jibsheet wrapped around it. But he started turning it with the winch handle. After about a good 10 or 20 minutes he asks dad is that good enough his arm is getting tired. I started laughing and dad gave me a hard look. One that says don't spoil my joke boy kind of look. I'm laughing just thinking about that!

So we get back to the dock and he leaves in his car and dad starts laughing. What is so funny dad? He replies that how can a man be so smart that he is dumb. I didn't get it when he said it but I do now.

I'll save the centerboard hole story for another day.
Gordon

[Tom]

And I'll be looking for it.  I love a guy  with humor.  I was talking the other day about how people take what I say so seriously.  There is hardly a serious bone in my body and I love to put on like I don't understand how the simplest of lifes tasks  function.  

There is always someone who will try to straighten me out and tell how things really work.  

I love your Dad's humor.  It sounds as if he and I would have gotten along perfectly.

I'll bet he would have enjoyed being a party in this next story.

[Tom]

A friend just wrote me a letter and mentioned that his son had discovered how little sense of humor most people have.  Since it reminded me of a story and I have a hard time missing an opportunity to tell a story,  I returned this in my note.  
 
I agree with Gabe.  I have always had a sense of humor.  It must be a little strange but I enjoy life and don't hurt anybody with it.  I have found that people take me seriously when I make one of my quips.  Many times they will take me so seriously that they will try to straighten me out.  The only fun I get is when I find someone else who understands my humor.
 
 I had one good friend for years in Data Processing, Remel.  One night we were at a fancy restaurant being wined and dined by Univac for buying a  new main frame.  At our plates was a little bowl/cup of water with a lemon floating in it.  Heck, we new what it was but started having a subdued conversation between us about this little glass of lemonade.  The more we talked the more people we realized were listening.  There were about  50 people at the long banquet table who were being all full of their importance.  We just kept on acting like country bumpkins that couldn't figure out why they would serve such a small glass of lemonade.  After a while one of the wives, sitting close, very carefully explained to us that the bowls were finger bowls, not lemonade.  He and I just looked at each other like we couldn't believe somebody would have taken us seriously.
 
They would do it al the time................

[Gordon]

That's classic Tom, small lemonade. What really steams me about fancy restaurants is the butter knife. It's made for right handed people and I'm left handed. Oh well worse things could happen.

I know what you mean about having a sense of humor. It really comes into play at work. Can make a bad situation into a joking one really quick instead of the other way around. Instead of being yelled at for the outrageous things they are saying at me I joke back and they don't know how to react. Takes them by surprise, to be joked with instead of being yelled at. Really diffuses the mood of the tier.

The other day a young gentleman was yelling some not so nice words at me, just trying to get some attention. So instead of the usual reaction that he is used to. I replied, can you wait a few minutes to do that I've got a problem with water pressure down the tier. The look on his face was priceless. He didn't know what to say.

So while I'm working on the water pressure problem I needed parts from the van and walked by this gentleman again and guess what that is exactly how he acted.  I told him to please wait I'm just getting parts and will be right back. His reply, you crazy, you make me laugh. Some humor sure does make the day go better.

The other day was a classic at work, getting wanded in and a vest check. I told the man that if this place gets any worse you would think it was a prison. This guy stops dead and looks at me. What the heck do you think this place is? My helper started laughing so hard he had to sit down in the chair. Then I got to laughing and the man started laughing as well, the kicker was I don't think he knew what we were laughing at. But when we came back through the gate a couple of hours later he sure was in a better mood.

Gordon

[CHARLIE]

I love one liner's. Like Tom, it amazes me when someone takes me serious. There are people that take everything serious and try to help poor simple souls like me.  I say a bunch of bad one liners but I have to keep throwing them out there and every once in a while I'll get a good one. A couple of things I always say:  1) Someone will be leaving work for the day and will tell me goodnight. My response: "Goodnight, Thanks for coming in". 2) Or I'll look up at the sky and say, "Hmmmm looks like we might get some weather."  I chuckle at the responses concerning rain and wind. If the people would think.....we always have weather.

Story time: Several years ago I was down in Austin, Texas preparing for a product transfer to Rochester. The guy with whom I was working had to take fairly frequent smoke breaks. I would walk outside with him so I could continue to extract information. Everytime we went outside or inside we had to go through a metal detector. For some reason, the belt buckle I had on kept setting it off and the security guy would make me step aside and "wand" me. Well, you'd figure that after many times of this on the same blasted day he'd just let me pass, especially since I was coming back inside about 10 minutes after being scanned. I was feeling like a criminal. So once when he asked me to..."step aside"...I ran to the wall, leaned into it spread eagle.
The guy I was with busted out laughing. The security guy was too serious and didn't see the humor. For some reason, he didn't scan me again. ;D

[Bibbyman]

"Just because you're paranoid,  does not mean there is not someone out to get you."  >:(  Is a line I like to throw out in a conversation.  Most people know it sound ominous but have to think on it a while before they puzzle it out. ;)

About 20 years ago the game Trivial Pursuit was popular.  Mary and I were playing with our two boys Chris age 6 and Gabe age 8 at the time.  One question - "What is the name of Howdy Duty's sister."  was asked of  Chris.  Without a second's hesitation,  he came back with;  "Heavy Duty!"  We still laugh about that in the family.
 :D :D :D :D :D

[Tom]

"out of the mouths of babes"


Things were so much simpler then.

Age tends to complicate life, doesn't it? :D

[CHARLIE]

Another true story. It can only happen to me.  About 9 or 10 years ago on a snowy winter day, as I walked into work I stopped by Joe's office (Joe and I got along real good 'cause we had pretty much the same brain pattern : ).
Charlie: Hey Joe, wanna go downtown for lunch today? You'll have to drive though 'cause I ain't got my car.
Joe: Yeah that'd be great. I don't have a car either but I'll borrow Gordy's.

So at lunch we're walking to the parking lot.

Charlie: Where is Gordy's car parked?
Joe: Well, I don't know. I guess that would have been a good thing to ask Gordy.  Well, (looking at the keys) they're Chrysler keys and if I remember right his car was yellow.

We began walking through the parking lot looking for a yellow Chrysler product.

Charlie: Hey Joe, there's an old beat up yellow Chrysler over there!

The doors were unlocked so we got in. Joe stuck the key in the ignition and fired up the engine and off to town we went.

Joe:  Hey Charlie, what is that golf score card doing on the dash? Gordy doesn't play golf.........
Charlie: Hell, I don't know Joe. Let me see what's in this paper sack. Hmmmm, a six pack of Schmidt Beer.
Joe: Gordy drinks Old Mil', he doesn't drink Schmidt.
Charlie: Let me look in the glove box. Hmmmm here's a registration for a Robert Newhouse. I wonder if Gordy just bought this car. Let me look in this Target Store bag on the floor. Joe......it has a return on it for Robert Newhouse and is dated yesterday. I don't think this is Gordy's car.
Joe: Oh well,  we're halfway to town now. Might as well go on to lunch.

We went on to the little cafe and our conversation was mostly about wondering if the car was going to start again since Joe had had to wiggle the key a little to get it to work the first time. We ate our lunch, went back to the car and Joe got it started just fine. We headed back to work. When we get to the frontage road, Joe puts on his right turn signal.

Charlie: Where ya going Joe? Our parking lot is to the left.
Joe: I know, but if I see someone that looks like they are looking for a car in our parking lot, we're going to park in another lot.

We didn't see anyone in our parking lot, so Joe whipped the car left and we parked in the first empty spot available, got away from the car and headed into the building. I walked over to Gordy's office.

Charlie: Hey Gordy, what color is your car?
Gordy: Brown. Why?
Charlie: I think Joe and I saved you some gas.
Joe: Hey Charlie! Come here and look out the window.

Joe and I looked out the window toward the parking lot to see "Security" come driving up slowly and stop at the end of the sidewalk. Then a young man ran from the building to the "Security" car and got in. They started driving around the parking lot and found the car parked in a different spot. They got out, walked around it, opened it up, looked inside, popped the trunk and checked it out, popped the hood. Hmmm, engine was warm and snow was melted.  We were laughing so hard we could hardly stand up. We knew what the real story was, but wondered what the story was down stairs.

Next day.

Charlie: Joe, I walked by that yellow Chrysler and he had the doors on that old beater locked!
Joe: Now why would anybody even bother to lock up an old beater like that?

A week later, I walked by that old beater and saw the doors were unlocked. So I left a note on the window that said,
"I would advise you to lock your vehicle, it might get stolen."
 
 To my knowledge, Robert never did know the real story. But the story downstairs was that Robert had walked out to the parking lot to go home for lunch and couldn't find his car. Puzzled, he went back to his work area and told some of his co-workers that he thought his car had been stolen. He then called Security.  He couldn't figure why someone would steal an old beater like that or why they returned it.;D ;D

[Tom]

When I was in the Boy Scouts.......around '52...that seems so long ago, one of our projects was a raft trip.
 
We were not allowed to use nails but were allowed a specified amount of 1/4 inch rope and as much twine as we wanted.  The material of choice was bamboo and we were provided with copious amounts from residents who were overrun with the Giant species.  This bamboo was 3-5 inches in diameter and made good building material.  The raft had to be made by tying the bamboo together with the rope and twine.  We were also allowed supplemental floating devices like 55 gal drums or innertubes to put beneath the raft.
 
The trips began on the North Fork of the St. Lucie River in White City,  a little development just south of Ft. Pierce, and ended in Stuart.  Stuart was about 20 miles as the crow flies but an ungodly distance by river.  If the winds and tides were against us too bad, we ended our trip at a fishing camp, Pruitts,  that existed about where Port St. Lucie is now.
 
On one of these trips we were having the regular problems of rafts coming apart and the Scout master was in an outboard motor boat "rescuing" scouts and their gear.
 
One raft became entangled in the hyacinths and the boys were unable to get it out.  One of the boys was afraid that he was going to be eaten by alligators and being stuck wasn't helping him very much.  The other boys on the raft were enjoying their plight and had taken their clothes off and were swimming in the river.  The current had carried them a bit away from the raft leaving the one frightened boy alone and hugging the steering oar.
 
Just when things couldn't get any worse for him, naturally they did.  Alongside of the raft, not 2 feet from him, rose a Sea Cow.  That is Manatee to those  who don't know it by the other name.  
 
A Sea Cow is a huge, 1000 pound or better mammal that lives in southern waters.  It is a vegetarian and a hangover from prehistoric days.  The sailors of old called it a mermaid but this boy saw a monster.
 
The Sea Cow was happily eating away at the hyacinths, snorting and munching much like a bovine at a feed trough and thoroughly enjoying itself.
 
The boy was so frightened that he was screaming.  The only one with power was the Scout Master and he was slow getting there.  After all he had to deliver other scouts to camp who had raft problems.
 
When the Scout master finally got there, this boy was in a conniption.  He was taken aboard the motorboat and delivered to his parents, who were called to the fish camp to pick him up.
 
Never ever was this fellow to be know as anything other than Sea Cow Webber from then on out.
 
I can't remember his face,  I didn't know him real good,  but he is forever imprinted in my memory to be taken to my grave.

 
  

[CHARLIE]

Tom, I remember that trip. Corky, Ben and I made our raft. It was sturdy with the Chinese Bamboo running widthwise, a frame for the long tiller on the back and double thickness of innertubes underneath. As I remember, the fastest raft was one where the boys spent no time making it. They just ran some Chinese Bamboo lengthwise with a few innertubes underneath. It was fast, but those boys were also wet all the time. When we camped that night, I found a scorpian walking up my leg.  Couldn't sleep much that night for thinking 'bout scorpians walking around. ???  It was a memorable experienc.  8) 8)

[Tom]

Ugly Eddy had a paper route and we would help him roll his papers and deliver them so that he could get done and we could play.
 
The papers were delivered to the Boy Scout Cabin about a block from school.  This was a large Log cabin/meeting hall on a pole quality, pine tree covered lot covering 1/3 of a city block.
 
We were early or the papers were late and to kill time started passing a football.  One would pretend that he was hunched down behind the center in a large stadium full of spectators and the other, on the count, would run a pattern through the trees (defensive players) and catch a pass.
 
Eddy hollered hike and I took off.  While he was busy eluding an imaginary rush I was running "hell bent for leather" toward the "goal".
 
I looked over my shoulder and here came the ball.  I ran harder, looked again and it was almost perfectly thrown but long and passing a little over my head.  I jumped up, still going full tilt, and turned as I reached for the ball.  SMACK !!.
 
I straddled a fifteen inch dia.  pine tree.  My legs and arms went either side of it and my nose stopped me from going any further.  It knocked me cold as a cucumber.  Eddy and the other boys were scared to death that I had killed myself.  
 
The first thing I remember was that my glasses were askew on my face down below my nose and so twisted that I couldn't put them back on.  Then I notice the blood pouring from nose and my face and chest was scratched on most every inch.  The high points over the bony areas had the skin peeled back likened to a rubbed peach.  Was I alive?
 
Everybody ran to my aid and for 4 or 5 minutes I was the center of attention.  Then I got my senses about me again and we continued with our game.  
 
Hero of the day, I was, and Ugly Eddy never let me forget the day I was tackled by a pine tree.

[Bibbyman]

Tom's story reminded me of stories often told about Bill, a neighbor of mine.    His large family can be traced back to the early settlers of the area.  Bill is about 80 now and still in good heath.  Although from the stories told of the things he did in youth and in maturity,  it's a wonder he's still alive!   :D

When Bill and his brothers attended the little one-room grade school in the area,  there came a heavy wet snow.  When school was out,  the whole student body set in to have a big snowball fight.  Sides were chosen and lines were drawn and snow forts were built.  

The next morning when Bill and brothers got to the schoolyard,  Bill though it would be great fun to knock down the opposition's fort before they got there.  >:(  Sparing no effort and with a fateful "Watch this!",  he lowered his head and ran into the fort like a charging bull.    

Some time later it dawned on Bill that the temperature had dropped to below 0 through the night and what had been soft snow was now hard ice.   :'(

Another time the boys were all swinging on grape vines hanging in a large oak tree.  Bill thought he could swing high enough to reach the top of a 40-foot tall cedar tree some distance away.  ;)  He swing higher and higher until he thought he could risk letting go of the vine and grab the top of the cedar tree.  Not quite!

Witnesses said he fell through the cedar tree like a cannon ball - hitting the ground in a dusty heap.  They thought he was surely dead but they picked him up and walked him around a little.  He was a little worse for wear, skunt up, bruised, cloths torn,  but otherwise no permanent damage was done.  ;D ;D ;D

[CHARLIE]

 :D :DHolie Schmolee! Old Bill must have a dang good Guardian Angel! :D :D Reminds me of the time Tom was teaching me to slide down a tree by jumping to it from the garage roof......but that's one for another day. ;D

Bibbyman! 3 more notes and you get another tree! 8) 8) 8)

[Tom]

Poor Bill,

I know how he must have felt..........reminds me of a story :D

I had a friend who lived a couple of blocks away named Freddy who had the largest comic book collection in town or so it seemed to me.  Being raised Southern Baptist I wasn't allowed the same entertainments other kids had....no comic books, cards, no work or hard play on Sunday, no dancing, and a myriad of other rules.  So, I would sneak off to Freddy's and read comic books.

One day I had done this and we tired of being inside the house so we went outside to play.  There was a tall Australian Pine tree on the corner of his property.   An Australian Pine generally has a very tall slender trunk and limbs that deminish in size to the top which gives it a cone shape not too much different from a Blue Spruce but sparcer branching.

Our game was to climb to the top, about 50 ft., grab the trunk, which was about 2-3 inches in diameter, and jump to the side as far as we could.  The tree would slowly break our fall and we would be hanging in mid space about 35 ft. off of the ground.  Great fun.

Well this one time I had reached the top but before I could jump the limb under my foot broke and I fell.  Holding onto the trunk with one hand just enough to get me started falling away from the trunk and I lost my grip.  Down I went.  

I hit every branch on the way down, I would straddle one and it would give way and farther I would go.  I would land on one side, spin as I fell, hit another, spin and fall until I finally ran out of tree and landed on the ground as flat on my back as could be.  

Whoosh! went the air from chest.  I saw little stars and flashes of light and couldn't get up.  In my mind I knew I wasn't hurt but I couldn't get up and I couldn't breathe.  Freddy and the others gathered around worried and not knowing what to do until...all of a sudden I got back the ability to breathe.  My chest worked...thank God.

I was scratched a bit and hurt some, but right back up the tree I climbed.  Reaching the top I decided that I had proved that I was brave without having to jump again so I looked at the scenary for a while and climbed back down.

If that had happened to me today I wouldn't have lived past the first breaking branch.  I would probably have died from fright right there in the top of the tree.

It makes you wonder how we made it, doesn't it. ;D

[CHARLIE]

Tom, if you tried that today you wouldn't get hurt a bit. I think the tree would break before you got much more than 4 feet off the ground.....: so you really wouldn't have that far to fall. Of course you'd have to make sure the poor tree didn't fall on top of you. ;D ;D ;D ;D

[Bibbyman]

Kenny and the Campbell's Soup song.

My first ten or so years of office life were before the famed cubical.  We were housed in big open spaces with desks rowed up like cars in a parking lot.

Life was wild then.  In the early 80's we had an influx of new people.  Each would have to run the gauntlet of pranks and practical jokes.  I must say they were all good sports because they fell right in with us when the next poor victim showed up.  

One guy, (I'll call him Kenny because that was his name) never really graduated past the victim level.  You could always fool him.  Got to where the old pros would let the new guys trick Kenny because it wasn't sporting enough.  

Big Mike McNown set about the distance between horseshoe pegs from Kenny in the sea of desks.  Mike was about average at everything but B.S.  That he excelled in.  

On day Mike gets the idea to call Kenny and impersonate a radio disk jockey and get Kenny to sing the Campbell's Soup song - You remember: "Mmmm, Mmmm Good! Mmmm, Mmmm, Good!  Campbell's Chicken Soup is Mmmm, Mmmm Good!"

Well the whole area knew what was going down.  Kenny gets the call and Mike explains who he is and if he (Kenny) could sing the Campbell's Soup song,  he would win a case of soup.  Kenny was too thick headed to understand him so he just hung up.  Then he had to tell everyone about the odd phone call he got.  The news spread through the office bay like ripples from a rock thrown into a pond.  

A couple of people explained to Kenny what the jockey was offering him and what he had missed.  MAN! Kenny was disappointed!  He was getting married in a couple of months and sure could have used that case of soup.  

In the discussion,  someone mentioned that the radio station sometimes has a second chance Tuesday. (and,  by golly, it was Tuesday!) If you missed winning, then they would put your name in a hat and give you a second chance.  But Kenny didn't know the song!  He had to be coached.  

After lunch came the second call.  Explained that he had been chosen to have a second chance.  He was ready.  He sang his song.  Then Mike explained he got the song right and won but they needed to reenact the interview and have him sing the song again so they could record it to play on the radio.  So Kenny sang the song again.  Mike explains they has some recorder problem so if he could sing it just one more time.  He does.  Well,  that was good but most people sound better if they were standing up. Could he stand and sing the song?  He does.  That was much better but if he could sing it a little louder,  it would be much better.  Kenny really puts some effort into it and signs again.

Meanwhile,  everyone within 50 feet was about to bust a gut.  The Engineering Manager was in the area and not in on the prank was standing about ten feet from Kenny with a puzzled look on his face.  He just shook his head and walked back to his office.

Finally, with jubilation and pride in his work, Kenny put down the phone to share with the others his accomplishment.  We all agreed he had performed perfectly.

A few minutes later,  Mike comes over to Kenny's desk and puts down an office Dictaphone recorder and pushes the play button.  Kenny was totally confused.  How did Mike record his interview?  Mike breaks it to Kenny.

Now the Kenny doesn't really have a laugh.  He makes an "Eeeeek!" sound like a dolphin and then holds his breath until he turns blue.  He was a good sport about it.

:D

[Tom]

I love a good joke.  That's great.  It's a good thing kenny has a good sense of humor, you gotta be careful sometimes because more and more people don't.  

I hope he got at least one can of soup.  That would have been something to continue the joke for years.  Celebrate the anniversary. :D

[CHARLIE]

 :D :D :D :D :D :D I like that story Bibbyman. :D :D :D :D :D   By the by (that's British for...by the way), the company I work for must be way ahead of it's time. I was in cubicles in 1972 and knew of people that were in cubicles in 1968 (that was before I was promoted to a cubicle).  ;D

[Gordon]

This happend today at work. Was a busy day had to change a 4" valve out at the steam plant first thing in the morning. So the entire complex was without steam. This had to be done quickly so they could fire up the boilers. All went well and the valve was changed boilers fired up and running no alarms and no leaks. The man I was with is a real practial joker makes me look like a serious person. He had worked in the power house for two years when he first started there.

So he disappears for a few minutes, which is not uncommon for him. You just have to wonder what he is up to thats all. So I've already started working on a condensate pump that was broken and he says to move to the back of the building quietly. You can yell once all the boilers are fired up and not be heard. So I moved to the back. About that time alarms start going off. They are running around checking gauges and temps.

I walk across the building to the corner he is in and he has a light switch wired into the alarm. So he turns it off and the alarm goes dead. They all head back into the office. As soon as the door is closed he turns on the alarm again. Out a running they come. Checking gauges and temps giving each other the thumbs up all is well. Back in the office they go shaking their heads is dismay. Well  by now we are busting up laughing.

So he turns on the alarm again and out everyone comes again. Then all of the sudden the alarm turns off. He turns around and the foreman has cut his wire going to the alarm. The powerhose foreman is shaking his head and busts out laughing. You see this was a joke they always used to play on each other years ago. It had been quite some time since it had been done the foreman was caught off guard.

Gordon

[Gordon]

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On Saturday there are only two maintenance men on duty.  Last Saturday the other man had off so it was only me.

I got a call from primary control to bring an extension ladder into Max.  Why?  Well, an inmate had climbed the inside recreation yard fence all the way up to the ceiling (two stories) and tied himself to it with a sheet made into a harness. He used his socks for loops into the fence for footholds. It was quite a sight. They had no idea how to get him down.  There are two inside rec yards right next to each other with a two foot gap between the fences so inmates can't hand anything to each other. Every thing on the teir is being video taped to protect us in court if the inmate presses any charges against us for the use of force

First, I took a razor knife and taped it to a mophandle to try and reach through the fences.

I tried to talk him down for ten to twenty minutes-no luck.  

I climbed the ladder and as soon as I tried to cut the sheet he would put his hand up to shield the harness. I couldn't cut him so I got back down the ladder and talked to the leiutenant who went up the ladder and unloaded a full can of capstun (like teargas).

I went back up to try again.  The same thing happened again. Back down the ladder I went and left the teir to get that gas mask off and talk to the Lieutenant.

The Lieutenant radioed for another can of capstun and ordered a guard to climb the fence to remove the inmate. This didn't work at all. The inmate kicked the guard square in the gasmask and just about knocked him off of the fence.

The capstun arrived and the Lieutenant unloaded another can of  on him. Remember just a short burst had knocked me for a good loop and this guy has had two full cans unloaded on him.

Before going back on the teir I told the Capt. that this was the last time up the ladder for me.

Up the ladder I went.  

Now the inmate can't see at all, so I tried again to cut the harness.  The inmates on the cellblock are yelling to him,  "he's going high, he's going low".  It made me chuckle in the mask.  I was thinking about Nascar spotters talking to their drivers.

About that time the Lieutenant  climbed the other side of the fence to really distract him. The inmate tried to kick out at him, but his harness ripped, gravity took affect and down he went to the concrete floor.

He was greeted by 6 guards in their black Ninga gear and had no fight left in him.  The nurse looked him over and he was taken to the infirmary to be checked out.

A different Saturday to say the least. But now I don't have to worry about Saturdays anymore.  They have changed my schedule to Monday thru Friday 7am to 3pm.

NICE