Solved Sweet Gum

[DanG]

You're right, Tom. This is not the train of thought, here.

But, what is it the train of?  ???

[Tom]

It's a train of guitar pickers, harmonica players, foot stompers, signifying humorists and it's Heaven Bound. :D

[Bro. Noble]

Wait a minute------hold the phone

I was thinkin that we must have discussed about everythang worth knowing but remembered that famous Texan and his compadres that invented the rodeo.  Moses and the bull rushers.

[DanG]

Cain't forget about them!  I herd them on the rodeo in my truck, just the other night.

[Texas Ranger]

Some one axed about what God had to do with Texas.  I reckon y'all fergot this little story.  Happened, oh, bout 10 yar ago.

Bran new Baptist preacher was fishing around for place to raise the name of God to the heathens, and he wanted to check out the competition.

We, scuz me, He was in Calofonica, where Coleopter was from, and went into the Church of What's Happening Now to look around.  Saw a gold telephone on the wall with a sign sayin "Call God in Heaven, $35,000".  He hailed the preacher down and axed him "What that was all about"  Preacher said, "Son, that phone hooks straight to Heaven, and the other end sits on Gods cradenza".  He said, "well aint that sumpin". and decided to move on since this place was to high falooten.

Next stop was in the TabandApple Church in Salt Lake City, where Lots wife was buried, and he went in that Ladder Day Saint Louis Cardenals church.  There was that same Gold Telephone, with the same sign "Call God in Heaven, $35,000".  He axed the head Saint about the sign, and got the same answer.

Next stop was in Minnehaha, or Wishagain, or one a them northern states, and went into the Martin Luther Church, where all them Nowegians prey.  Same Gold Telephone and same sign "Call God in Heaven, $35,000".  He axed the head Cod Fish about the sign and phone, and got the same answer.  

Well, he was getting his fill of the Gold Phone so he went east to Nu Yark City, and stepped in one a them Temples of the Hebrews, which he knew was the down fall of all them old folks in the bible when they ruent the original Temple, and there was that same Gold Telepone and the same sign, "Call God in Heaven, $35,000".   The head Rabbit told him the same story as all the rest.  

Bout now he had a strong urge for some good bar-b-que (hard to find good bar-b-que north of the Maxim-Dixicup Line) and headed for Texas.  Stopped in a little Methodist Church in east Texas (that's where I met him)  and there was that same Gold Telepone, but the sign said "Call God in Heaven, 35 cents".  Well, now, that got him het up over the eye gougin them other churches was doing.  So he called over the Methodist Preacher and axed "Preacher, I been to every type of Church in the country, and every one a them had that gold phone, and every one a them was chargin $35,000.00 for that phone call to God.  How come yours is only 35 cents?"

Preacher took a long, pittying look at the preacher wannabee, and said "Son, in Texas, it's a local call."

[Texas Ranger]

Paul H, every where is a little sw of Texas, it jist depends on where ya start from.

[Paul_H]

.   Ole Juliasen

. ;D

I wonder if Ole,that Tom mentioned was the preacher up in Minehaha?

[Bro. Noble]

Paul,

I'm not too sure cause if that was the guy Tom was talkin about he would have probably called him Bro. Ole,  or Bro Julisen.  That Tom's real reprobatable when it comes that kinda stuff.


DanG,

Hope I didn't give you misinformation about the rodeo,  seems like some Italian guy mighta done that.  Macaroni was his name if I recall.  The dude wore a feather in his cap and wrote that song about one if by land and too if you see.

[Texas Ranger]

Noble, ol son, you seem to have forgot your feathers.

[Bro. Noble]

Speaking of feathers,  Don,  sinch the 'Big Guy'  evidentally don't look in on these more intillectual threads,  I'm gonna stick my neck (maybe that's a poor choice of phrases) out and say I wish he had a feather up his (for the way he is deviling me) and then we would both be tickled :D

At least (thanks to DonP) we know why the eskimos aren't more poligimus in the Texas area.  Can you believe the tall tales he tells :D :D

[Don P]

Well now I'm awful confused cause I didn't think that Coleoptera was an eskimo, but then you threw in that bit about the girl being a polygramist and it brought to mind that Gwenever a rustlin her bustle over in the burnin woods which are summersville east of west by God Virginia.
Hmm, is it just " west by God" of the southern mountains .
If that Amber had a stayed at home in some dark holler instead of goin to the land of ice and snow she'd of probably never been striked by that awful flu-a.(ok, Liquidamber Styraciflua, its been a long day :D) But now if that gum chewin Amber is a redbone she is one purty gal and I believe I'd keep aholt of her. I'd take her up to that five step dryin out clinic by the Interlaken grainery and get her off that stump water rather than holding her feet to the fire. A good abrasive scrubbing might shine up some ribbons and stripes and prove to be some of the best window dressing in town.

[Greenman]

Ya know, Louis Armstrong was from Loueezianna.  He's probly blowin' a mean horn in heaven now.  Maybe somebody should talk to him.

[Mark M]

Wasn't he the first fella to land on da moon?

[Greenman]

Da moon's purdy close to Heaven, ain't it?

[Bro. Noble]

I don't know for sure their exact proxzimmity,  but I'm confident they are both a loong way from Texas.

I think I read somewhere somewhere that that (hows that for a that that,  Tom? 8)) Armstrong feller learned how to toot by scaring the sheeps out of the meadow and the cows outa the corn.  I believe that that ( ;))was when he was a little boy.  

[Texas Ranger]

He was one a them Blew Men?

[DanG]

Naw, he weren't blew, he were black. But he wrote blew songs about the moon.  First was Blew Moon, then, a little later in the month when the moon had moved a bit east, it were Blew Moon of Kentucky. He got rich off of Bill Monroe's sangin'.  Along about that time, another Bill, Bill Ouija, came up with this idea for a special board, and he got rich too.  He called it "The Billboard" and sold a million of'em. They're all over the place.

[Tom]

Br'er Norm
Neuter demonstrative pronouns indicating emphatic repetition
of the idea expressed by a previous word, verbal auxiliary, conjunction, adjective, pronoun or adverb in a sentence, regardless of the cumbersomeness, deserve acknowlegdgement.  I'm sure happy to see you unembarrassingly join with me in the visible recognition of the art of double words.

Please don't throw me in the briar patch!

[Bro. Noble]

Well Thanks ,  Tom,  for your kind words and good indentures,  but I wouldn't feel right joining up with a group of agnoginists even of the elite demonination  being a protestant myself.

[Minnesota_boy]

Hey Tom,
I'd be the first to admit that that "that" has really gotten a workout on this forum.  :D

[Texas Ranger]

Agronimists are Protestants?  Who'd a thunk it.

[Tom]

Br'er Noble,
That was sure nice of you to recognize my pretty teeth. They are quite functional too, I might add.

Sorry to hear of your prostate. I guess that comes with age.  I wouldn't ask you to agnosticate, speculate or expectorate unless we happened to be in the out of doors. Is That elite dominion close to the Dominican republic of the Caribbean?  I went to nausea once.  It's a pretty place with clear blue water, pretty girls and cheap drinks.  I never been so calypsoed in all my life.

Don,
Those Agronomists ought to go get themselves checked too.  I know it's an uncomfortable test but it beats having to take that waterfall pill, Niagra.

[Bro. Noble]

Don and Tom,

Unless it's a fignewton of my imagination,  the two of you seem to be confuzed on three or two things.

First of all,  an agronomist is just like a normal guy in his belief in God,  he is just a little salubrious about him ever being in Texas.

Second of all,  I would only talk to my rector concerning the health problems that you excruded to as he specializes in answering rectorial questions.

An additional note of interest, Tom:

I tried to write a line with three conscriptive thats in a row--------I done it and redonedit and redonedit over again but one of them thats that I done always seemed superfiliment.

[Paul_H]

Boy,Tom almost had things back on tropic,then he gave Noble a bum steer.I'm glad that with all the expectorates,and agnosticates,and reprobates mentioned above,nobody brought up explumageate.

[Stan]

Explumigate? Speak english'n just say prunes.  :