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Author Topic: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)  (Read 691 times)

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Offline Texas Ranger

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The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« on: July 20, 2020, 09:59:44 AM »
***POLK COUNTY VISITOR'S ALERT****
FYI: For anyone wanting to visit Polk County! Numbers are rising everyday here right now with COVID cases. We watch in horror as the rest of the state spikes and wonder how long before it gets worse here.
So if you plan on vacationing at our rivers, lakes or in our Forest this summer, I think you should know that red ants and bedbugs have infested hotels and motels across the area due to a wetter than usual spring.
Wild boar have eaten all domesticated animals and some smaller people.
The snakes have  overtaken all yards and grassy areas.
We have had alligator sightings at every park and town.
We have Bigfoots INVADING OUR PARKS.
Ticks are size of dinner plates.
Skunks have made their way here and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs.
Murder hornets!?! We've got LOADS of murder hornets.
And I'm pretty sure all private tiger owners have released them into the streets of our towns.
Head lice now fly... right beside the bats.
So stay where you are, in your own province, state or county where it's safe!
Seriously, PLEASE DO NOT COME HERE... ? ?
and we also have NO TOILET PAPER!!
The Ranger, home of Texas Forestry

Offline goose63

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #1 on: July 20, 2020, 10:33:45 AM »
DanG I want to come down there pig hunting but not if you have no toilet paper :o     
goose
if you find your self in a deep hole stop digging
saw logs all day what do you get lots of lumber and a day older
thank you to all the vets

Offline Sedgehammer

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #2 on: July 20, 2020, 11:03:50 AM »
It's k. I'll bring some. Bring shotgun too, sounds like lots of target practicin on them thar there murderin hornets.

Offline Old Greenhorn

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #3 on: July 20, 2020, 11:41:05 AM »
What no Zombie attacks? :D
I know the feeling. Our tourist season seems unabated and people come into our area and make a mess, complain about restrictions, and empty our food stores. I won't stop at out convenience store on Friday through Sunday evening if I can avoid it. Too many outsiders with no clue.
 There is a great video on you tube of a song I like. I can't post a link here because of one word in there which does not comply with forum rules, but if you go there and search for "stay the ---- at home", you should find it.
 Folks need to use common sense and this will get much better, but...
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Offline Sixacresand

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #4 on: July 20, 2020, 01:59:45 PM »
We started Church up again the first Sunday in July and have now shut it down again as a precaution due to several members testing + for the virus.  They all got tested because of extreme fatigue, not because of having a fever.   All got over the symptoms in a day or two.  Just an observations, people don't seem to be afraid of the virus at wally world, grocery stores. and box stores.  And the virus was a non issue with the media during the recent protests and riots.  

Offline K-Guy

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #5 on: July 20, 2020, 04:03:51 PM »
Skunks have made their way here and multiplied at unprecedented rates and wander the local campgrounds in packs.


I thought you guys just smelled that way.  say_what  smiley_blue_bounce
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 the vices I admire." -Winston Churchill

Offline Southside

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #6 on: July 20, 2020, 04:43:12 PM »
Read an article about the flooding down there that came from the melting snow recently, absolutely horrible.  ;D
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Offline WDH

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #7 on: July 20, 2020, 06:36:57 PM »
The heat makes us smell like skunks.
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Offline GRANITEstateMP

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #8 on: July 20, 2020, 06:55:23 PM »
Read an article about the flooding down there that came from the melting snow recently, absolutely horrible.  ;D
Well, the news media always checks it's facts and never fibs :(, so that snow melt must be true!
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Offline GAB

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #9 on: July 20, 2020, 07:14:11 PM »
Texas Ranger:
You make no mention of speed bumps (ie road killed armadillos).
Are they extinct in your area?
GAB
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Offline Texas Ranger

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #10 on: July 20, 2020, 07:19:03 PM »
Texas Ranger:
You make no mention of speed bumps (ie road killed armadillos).
Are they extinct in your area?
GAB
You mean possum on the half shell, tenderized by Michelin, with a side of sweet tators?
The Ranger, home of Texas Forestry

Offline GAB

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #11 on: July 20, 2020, 07:36:10 PM »
Texas Ranger:
You make no mention of speed bumps (ie road killed armadillos).
Are they extinct in your area?
GAB
You mean possum on the half shell, tenderized by Michelin, with a side of sweet tators?
You do serve it with lots of RED HOT Sauce don't you?
GAB
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Offline gspren

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #12 on: July 21, 2020, 04:23:43 PM »
I also heard that your armadillos got leprosy, it must be true cause I heard it at a bar.
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Offline Tacotodd

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #13 on: July 22, 2020, 08:11:43 AM »
@gspren , it must be true. Thatís like what you here on the internet, it MUST be true- a FACT. HAHAHAH lol Sorry, I couldnít resist!
Trying harder everyday.

Offline Tacotodd

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #14 on: July 22, 2020, 08:46:49 AM »
I was also taught about the same thing about the leprosy. I just donít know where, itís on the pads of their feet. Be extremely careful handling and scooting those road bumps out of your way.
Trying harder everyday.

Offline DFILER2

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #15 on: July 22, 2020, 01:18:39 PM »
That's crazy Texas Ranger, it's exactly the same up here!

Offline Ed_K

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Re: The virus in Texas (courtesy of Wild Bill, modified)
« Reply #16 on: July 22, 2020, 03:38:09 PM »
 Texas Ranger, you ALMOST made me glad we moved from Tx.  :D ;D :o.
Ed K


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