I swear......next time he calls, I will send him to GEORGIA!

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

I had a customer who called me 3 different times to day fussing about the same DanG thing everytime.
He told me he was tired of buying Loblolly and Short Leaf Pine from me because some was yellow and some was a lighter yellow.
He said from now on he wants 100% Southern Yellow Pine. I told him he was and has been getting SYP. He uses my boards for storage buildings ( he sales ) and stains them. DUH........ :
He says the stain shows a different shade on the SYP vs. Loblolly and Short Leaf.

I just sent him this explanation by email I got from the internet.

Southern Yellow Pine (often abbreviated SYP) doesn't refer to any one species of tree, but rather a group of species which are classified as yellow pine (as opposed to white pine), and are native to the Southern United States. They grow very well in the acidic red clay soil found in most of the region. The varieties include Loblolly, Longleaf, Shortleaf, and Slash pines.[1] It typically has a density value between 50-55 lbs/cubic foot when pressurized.


I only sell Loblolly and Short Leaf and I know the tracts it comes from. I don't sell Virginia or LongLeaf or White Pine. Sometimes the yellow color is a little different shade, but when it cures, it's all the same color. A green log is a different shade of yellow than a dried log. I'm thinking this guy's stain is off a little. I know for a fact if you buy 2 different 5 gallon buckets of mixed stain with the hopes that they are exact......the colors will be a little off. I'm thinking this is what this guy is doing.

But I could hardly get a word in when trying to explain.  >:( >:( >:(

[Buck]

customer is always right David ;D :D

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

customer is always right David ;D :D

I don't know Buck......this guys calling.....I'm trying to get a busted power steering hose off the backhoe.......getting fluid all over my cell phone........my poor 'ol Dad, bless his heart, hears me holler on the phone over the tractor engine, but does not know I'm on the phone and my Dad is hollaring WHICH WAY? RIGHT OR LEFT?
I mean I'm chewing my tongue trying to be nice..........sweat getting in my eyes, dirt down my shirt....knats in my face......I need to spit "backer juice" and can't.......I finally just hung up on the guy......then I start laughing  :D :D :D like " can you hear me now ********?

I have not been this mad in a long time!


I'M STILL MAD!"

[hamptonlawyer]

Maybe it's all that orange paint fading and running off onto the wood that makes them look different once stained.  I heard the red ones don't have that problem!!  ;)

[Meadows Miller]

Some mothers do ave em Dave  :(   :D I take it hes also trying to stain GOS (Green Off Saw) to  ??? If so I dont know what he is expecting Mate  : :

[Carlton]

Having dealt with finishes including massive amounts of stains I would say the customer is not right this time!! Stains vary from batch to batch and for accurate use you should always by large enough quantities to finish the job you are working on and not have loads left over. If you do have several gallons left mix them with the next batch of the same color stain and this will help shade out slight variances of the two different batches. Also wood by nature will take stain at different amounts depending on the density of the wood and openess of the grain.

[Buck]

I have the vision of Jackie Gleason in mind with his arms spread going OHM  OHM  OHM ;D

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

I have the vision of Jackie Gleason in mind with his arms spread going OHM  OHM  OHM ;D

It would not have been so bad Buck, but the 3rd time he called he was referring to everything I was saying was B.S.  Since I've been sawing, I've never had a situation where people would not at least listen and TRY to understand COMMON SENSE.

[Joanie]

Don't send him here, we have enough crazy people in Ga. :D

[Delawhere Jack]

10% 25% premium for straight single species orders.......

If it means that much to him, why not........

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

10% 25% premium for straight single species orders.......

If it means that much to him, why not........

He said the thickness and width was perfect as well as being good straight lumber......it's just the difference in color.  say_what

[Buck]

well, I've tried to lighten the mood....I think I would have lost my mind too.  Right after the first BS!


"I will send him to Georgia"...is that the same as "to the moon Alice"?

[Delawhere Jack]

I have the vision of Jackie Gleason in mind with his arms spread going OHM  OHM  OHM ;D

It would not have been so bad Buck, but the 3rd time he called he was referring to everything I was saying was B.S.  Since I've been sawing, I've never had a situation where people would not at least listen and TRY to understand COMMON SENSE.

David, what is it that you would like to tell the group?



 

;D ;D ;D ;D

Illegitimi non carborundum

That's been my motto for years, getting to be more and more so as I "mature".  :-\

(Sorry Bro, I just got that nurse Ratchet thing stuck in my head  smiley_tom_dizzyguy01.....It makes me laugh. Try working retail building materials for about a decade, then you'll really know what crazy customers really are.......)

[hamish]

Turn off your cell phone.

Guess you cant text either with hydraulic fluid allover your hands.

Remember when your phone was in your house............how much more got done, and peaceful it was.

Zombies........just zombies..........

[WDH]

David,

I really appreciate that you are sending him my way as you must appreciate my technical expertise.   I will tell him that the problem lies in the fact that there are no vessel elements in yellow pine as well as no schlerids or fiber tracheids, just plain old longitudinal tracheids.  Those bordered pits on the cell walls of the longitudinal tracheids are just plain mis-behaving.  When they should be open, they are closed, and when they are closed, they are open.  The S2 layer in the cell walls is probably too thick.

On second thought, just tell him that he is not holding his mouth right  .  Yea, that is the answer.

[slider]

David, i'm not an expert but what about a mineral spirits wash be fore he applies the stain.Any cabinet maker can help you on this. good luck.  al

[Delawhere Jack]

David,

I really appreciate that you are sending him my way as you must appreciate my technical expertise.   I will tell him that the problem lies in the fact that there are no vessel elements in yellow pine as well as no schlerids or fiber tracheids, just plain old longitudinal tracheids.  Those bordered pits on the cell walls of the longitudinal tracheids are just plain mis-behaving.  When they should be open, they are closed, and when they are closed, they are open.  The S2 layer in the cell walls is probably too thick.

On second thought, just tell him that he is not holding his mouth right  .  Yea, that is the answer.

Danny, you know that we all wait for our turn to speak in group. Isn't that right Danny?



 

(ok, I PROMISE, that's the last time I post that image........)

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

David,

I really appreciate that you are sending him my way as you must appreciate my technical expertise.   I will tell him that the problem lies in the fact that there are no vessel elements in yellow pine as well as no schlerids or fiber tracheids, just plain old longitudinal tracheids.  Those bordered pits on the cell walls of the longitudinal tracheids are just plain mis-behaving.  When they should be open, they are closed, and when they are closed, they are open.  The S2 layer in the cell walls is probably too thick.

On second thought, just tell him that he is not holding his mouth right  .  Yea, that is the answer.

I never in my life thought your WORDING would finally be of use to me. If he answers the last email I sent him, I will COPY and PASTE your reply when I answer him.  :D

So I hope he understands the LONGATUBES and LATTACELLS and SHERLIDS and PIT TRACKHEADS or whatever you were talking about.  say_what

[bugdust]

Dave,
Remember, it's not good to work one's body up like that. Just simply tell the guy, "If you don't like what I sell, DON'T BUY IT!" 

[WDH]

Good.

He will read that and understand it immediately so you will not have to send him to Georgia.

[Cutting Edge]

David,

I really appreciate that you are sending him my way as you must appreciate my technical expertise.   I will tell him that the problem lies in the fact that there are no vessel elements in yellow pine as well as no schlerids or fiber tracheids, just plain old longitudinal tracheids.  Those bordered pits on the cell walls of the longitudinal tracheids are just plain mis-behaving.  When they should be open, they are closed, and when they are closed, they are open.  The S2 layer in the cell walls is probably too thick.

On second thought, just tell him that he is not holding his mouth right  .  Yea, that is the answer.

I never in my life thought your WORDING would finally be of use to me. If he answers the last email I sent him, I will COPY and PASTE your reply when I answer him.  :D

So I hope he understands the LONGATUBES and LATTACELLS and SHERLIDS and PIT TRACKHEADS or whatever you were talking about.  say_what

David....How many times does WDH have to repeat himself.  I would expect by now you would have almost every response memorized by now.  Shoot, you outta be able to preach it from a pulpit!!  Its all about the delivery....If you can "act" like you know what you're talkin' about...      :D

[Magicman]

I have sawed SYP logs from the same whack that varied from deep orange to light yellow and all were Loblolly.  Different trees growing in different soils will vary in color, and they may have grown less than 100' apart.  Customers and I have remarked about the different shades and colors many times.

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

I have sawed SYP logs from the same whack that varied from deep orange to light yellow and all were Loblolly.  Different trees growing in different soils will vary in color, and they may have grown less than 100' apart.  Customers and I have remarked about the different shades and colors many times.

This is what I tried to explain to him.....I think his stain is being mixed "whacky". He's bought probably 1,000 boards from me in a little over a year and this is the first time he's complained.

[Delawhere Jack]

Plastics are the problem!  >:(

People these days expect everything to be homogenized. Everything exactly the same, no variation.......quality control doncha know. You can get a Whopper sandwich in Japan that tastes exactly the same as the Whopper you ate yesterday in Hoboken NJ. It's sad really.

I don't have an answer to the problem, just sayin.........

[POSTON WIDEHEAD]

Plastics are the problem!  >:(

People these days expect everything to be homogenized. Everything exactly the same, no variation.......quality control doncha know. You can get a Whopper sandwich in Japan that tastes exactly the same as the Whopper you ate yesterday in Hoboken NJ. It's sad really.

I don't have an answer to the problem, just sayin.........

I think the guy is mixing himself a drink before he mixes his stain.  :D :D :D