sawmilling jokes

lyle niemi · October 04, 2012, 08:16:40 AM

I have alot of JOKES about truck drivers, welders, carpenters, plumbers but I dont recall ever hearing one about sawyers????
Whats out thar fur Jokes???
Jeff is prolly send me to the wood shed fur this...lol

Okrafarmer · October 04, 2012, 08:41:22 AM

When did the environmentalist finally learn to accept forestry?

When he/she/it learned that most sawmills cut green lumber.

:

POSTON WIDEHEAD · October 04, 2012, 08:48:55 AM

Lyle, :D There is a section on here for jokes. Jeff may move this thread if a joke pops up.

Okrafarmer · October 04, 2012, 08:51:29 AM

Hold on, Poston, this is special. It's only for sawmill jokes. That narrows it down dramatically. The man had a good idea. ;D

lyle niemi · October 04, 2012, 09:04:41 AM

Quote from: POSTONLT40HD on October 04, 2012, 08:48:55 AM
Lyle, :D There is a section on here for jokes. Jeff may move this thread if a joke pops up.

dont think that Jeff is all that hard core....get it?? hard core..lol

Okrafarmer · October 04, 2012, 09:25:34 AM

Not sure where to go with that one. . . .

hackberry jake · October 04, 2012, 10:32:04 AM

Why do sawyers make terrible fishermen? Because they try to sharpen all their hooks at 9* and they only leave a third of them straight. When they finnaly get a fish to filet, it takes them a while to decide on the opening face. When they get a really good one, you catch them trying to figure out how to dog it on their mill. They keep telling you how many board feet of filets the fish will make. I just made those up, but it's a start right?

gandrimp · October 04, 2012, 02:03:24 PM

Manual mill sawyer at the coffee shop is asked "do you have a company truck?" MMS says " naw, I walk to work"

hackberry jake · October 04, 2012, 03:58:32 PM

They invented an iq sensing robot. A man with an exceptionally high iq walks up to it an the robot begins talking about how awesome ez boardwalk saws are with their slanted head and whatnot. A man with an average iq walks in and the robot begins talking about how timberkings direct action hydraulics are pretty sweet. After that a man that failed his test to be a truck driver walked in an said "y'all I need a cupa coffee" , the robot said, when's your woodmizer gunna be running again buddy? Bwahahahaha!

PC-Urban-Sawyer · October 04, 2012, 05:08:15 PM

Quote from: hackberry jake on October 04, 2012, 03:58:32 PM
They invented an iq sensing robot. A man with an exceptionally high iq walks up to it an the robot begins talking about how awesome ez boardwalk saws are with their slanted head and whatnot. A man with an average iq walks in and the robot begins talking about how timberkings direct action hydraulics are pretty sweet. After that a man that failed his test to be a truck driver walked in an said "y'all I need a cupa coffee" , the robot said, when's your woodmizer gunna be running again buddy? Bwahahahaha!

Which proves you don't have to be a genius to figure out who makes the best bandsaw mills.

Herb

Jim_Rogers · October 04, 2012, 05:18:54 PM

I think I told one here about two weeks ago.

This guy shows up at the sawmill and says he needs a 4x2.
I asked him if he didn't mean a 2x4.
He say yes, that's right it's a 2x4.
I asked him how long did he want it.

He said he wanted it for a long time as he was building a barn... ;D

Jim_Rogers · October 04, 2012, 05:21:26 PM

When I'm sawing a customer's log and we run into an ant's nest, and they start running all around all over, I ask the customer if he know how to tell which one is the queen?

They usually say no, how do you tell which one is the queen?

I usually say, she's the one wearing the crown..... ;D

woodmills1 · October 04, 2012, 05:30:34 PM

I left my board stretcher back at home but it still don't work

POSTON WIDEHEAD · October 04, 2012, 05:57:50 PM

You can search sawmill jokes on the internet. After you read some of them.....you will understand why you have never heard them. :D A whack of "corn".

POSTON WIDEHEAD · October 04, 2012, 05:59:23 PM

Quote from: Okrafarmer on October 04, 2012, 08:51:29 AM
Hold on, Poston, this is special. It's only for sawmill jokes. That narrows it down dramatically. The man had a good idea. ;D

O Ta Buck Wheat. :D My Bad. ;D

mikeb1079 · October 04, 2012, 10:41:43 PM

Q: whaddya call a vegetarian sawmiller?

A: a soy yer.

dear lord that was awful.

Okrafarmer · October 04, 2012, 11:03:28 PM

Did you hear about the sawyer who was always hungry? He couldn't decide whether to get a new Cook or Baker.

Clean Image · October 05, 2012, 02:52:36 AM

Why did the sawyer sell his mill?
Cause he was board... ;D

A productive sawyer has a cant do attitude :

Why did the stack of lumber disappear after the sawyer had been cutting all week long?
He never took pictures so technically it never happened...

What happened to the Yankee sawyer when he saw grits for the first time? Nothing cause he didn't know what they were used for...

My wife says I spend way too much time reading this forum...that's no joke and that's all I got at this early hour! 8)

Ianab · October 05, 2012, 03:03:15 AM

Hear about the sawyer that won the lottery?

They asked him what he was going to do with the million dollars?

"Probably just keep sawing until the money runs out"

Actually I'm not sure if that's a joke, or just reality ;)

Ian

florida · October 05, 2012, 07:08:49 AM

You know the difference between a large pizza and a sawyer?

A large pizza can feed a family of four!

lyle niemi · October 05, 2012, 07:11:35 AM

Quote from: florida on October 05, 2012, 07:08:49 AM
You know the difference between a large pizza and a sawyer?

A large pizza can feed a family of four!

Thats a gooder!