Did something dumb today.

[SawyerTed]

I'll leave this oldie but goodie here..

According to a news report, a certain private school in Washington recently was faced with a unique problem. A number of 12-year-old girls were beginning to use lipstick and would put it on in the bathroom.
That was fine, but after they put on their lipstick they would press their lips to the mirror leaving dozens of little lip prints.
Every night, the maintenance man would remove them and the next day, the girls would put them back. Finally the principal decided that something had to be done. She called all the girls to the bathroom and met them there with the maintenance man. She explained that all these lip prints were causing a major problem for the custodian who had to clean the mirrors every night.
To demonstrate how difficult it had been to clean the mirrors, she asked the maintenance man to show the girls how much effort was required. He took out a long-handled squeegee, dipped it in the toilet, and cleaned the mirror with it. Since then, there have been no lip prints on the mirror.
There are teachers, and then there are educators

[Magicman]

I love it Ted.  Lipstick is kinda like ChapStick, all depends upon where it has been.    

[SawyerTed]

If sawdust is man glitter, is lumber crayon man lipstick?  

[doc henderson]

well, for some of us Ted, some of us!  (Not me, but we support you no matter what!)

[customsawyer]

I've heard of putting lipstick on a pig but this is taking it a little far.

[SawyerTed]

well, for some of us Ted, some of us!  (Not me, but we support you no matter what!)

Just asking for a friend who uses lumber crayon instead of chapstick. 

[doc henderson]

I know Ted, I know.  that is what friends are for! 

[Magicman]

That Old person apparently uses a Green lumber crayon to keep his horn from chapping. 

[Old Greenhorn]

You know for most of my adult life I have often asked myself what it is about me that makes it so easy for other folks to pick on or make fun of. Still can't figure that one out. 
Howard, I .ight need one of my hugs back.  these guys are like a dog with a bone.

[Resonator]

You're a good man Charlie Brown Tom, no matter what the others say.

[Resonator]

OK, my turn. Went in the other day to buy new chains for my saws, I run them until the cutter is worn down to almost nothing (but that's not the dumb part, that's just poor boy economics).  
I knew there would be about 100 little packs of chains lined up to choose from, with all different shapes, sizes and specs. So I took a pic on my phone of the bar engravings on my 2 saws to know what I had to get. I bought the chains and went home to put them on, the 18" bar fit perfect and cut like a laser though butter.  
The 16" I struggled to try to get on, wouldn't fit. Checked over the numbers again, had the right bar length, tooth count, cutter profile, but the bar groove was 2 tenths of a millimeter off. Such a little bit can make such a difference...

[rusticretreater]

I know you want to show that you belong in our illustrious company,  but there is nothing dumb about that! 

I have a chain like that too.  Strange thing is that another one, same manufacturer, same size and length fits!

[Magicman]

Wait just a cotton picking minute there Lynn! Who said it was me? I was just postulating is all.

You know for most of my adult life I have often asked myself what it is about me that makes it so easy for other folks to pick on or make fun of. Still can't figure that one out. 

Wait just a cotton picking minute there Lynn Tom! Who said it was me you? I was just postulating is all. 

[Old Greenhorn]

........... but the bar groove was 2 tenths of a millimeter off. Such a little bit can make such a difference... 

2/10's of a mm is just .007". Are you saying the bar groove width was undersized? I feel like the dumb one here.  (easy Lynn.)

[Resonator]

The saw bar is 1.1MM, the chain I got was 1.3MM. Funny part was the bar tip is so wallered out it fit on there, but not on the rest of the bar.

[Southside]

OG your crayon story reminded me of a time back when I had a chance to go deer hunting for the day.  We were probably 50 miles into the woods and it was a warm fall day so I grabbed my shotgun in case I saw some Patridge (Ruffed Grouse) or a deer.  Had bird shot and slugs on me, in different pockets.  Well we are driving back to camp after seeing nothing and round a corner, there is a Patridge standing off the side of the gravel road, so I proceed to get out of my truck, grab my shotgun and tactically load it while I snuck up to the bird, aimed high so to not fill it full of shot and "blam" I missed the bird from way too close much to my surprise.  So I drop a second round into the chamber and "blam", bird is still looking at me and my buddy is laughing his butt off, so in complete bewilderment I grab a third round, chamber it and "blam" the bird flattens out like a spatchcock chicken while my buddy stops laughing and asks me "what are you using?"  On the ground were 3 empty slug shells and a now headless and gutted Patridge that didn't have a speck of damaged meat on it....Worked out in the end but, whoops!!

[WV Sawmiller]

Tom,

   I'd call you and Indian giver but then the political correctness idiots would probably picket both of us.

    Okay, you can have your old hug back.

[SawyerTed]

I once shot a coyote going away from me with a 12 ga. slug while deer hunting, I thought I had loaded buck shot.  The coyote was a mess.

[terrifictimbersllc]

What color was it Tom?

[Old Greenhorn]

The saw bar is 1.1MM, the chain I got was 1.3MM. Funny part was the bar tip is so wallered out it fit on there, but not on the rest of the bar.

AH HA, so you bought an .058 chain and needed an .050 chain. I get it now. I thought maybe the chain was defective or the bar had an issue.

 Dennis, it was BLUE.

[terrifictimbersllc]

Thats the same color jake uses.

[Old Greenhorn]

Well, he IS one of my heroes!  But I use red, yellow, and blue, depending on what shows up best. But when I am counting logs to make sure I have a complete order, I have a crayon in one hand and my clicker (counter) in the other. I go along the end of the stack and put a tick mark on the end of each log as I count it. Then an order goes out, and I have logs left and have to re-count. Well they already have marks, so I use a different color. The order that went out yesterday I think some of those logs had up to 5 marks on them. I ran out of colors, so I started making circles.
 I also created a length marking tool for bucking logs to length and marking the whole stem quickly. I only use red in that one. I don't know why. Might try yellow, it shows better on bark.

[customsawyer]

But how does it look on your lips?

[Old Greenhorn]

I wouldn't know.

[doc henderson]

That may just mean he puts it on, but does not look in the mirror!