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Author Topic: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral  (Read 1376 times)

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Offline Sedgehammer

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My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« on: October 26, 2020, 11:52:27 AM »
I'm moving this from the covid thread in health. As I didn't want to derail that thread, it was just relating what the funeral home was saying and Sam had posted something that's too long to get into in that thread. 

My mom died Friday afternoon, not from covid. She was 80. Smoked a lot till about 8 years ago, Had a triple by-pass 7, never felt right afterwards. The funeral home is telling us the state (wi) is telling them that they can't have a funeral, as there's a local outbreak, but of course when pressed on numbers, they won't say.

Quote from: doc henderson on Sun Oct 25 2020 19:49:45 GMT-0500 (Central Daylight Time)
Very sorry to hear that Sedge.


Thanks Doc. We knew it was coming, but at least we don't think she suffered. My brother in law came home from work and he found her slumped over in her chair. Tried CPR and called 911, but she had gone already. 

Quote from: samandothers on Mon Oct 26 2020 10:00:43 GMT-0500 (Central Daylight Time)
Sorry to hear of your loss.  It is difficult I imagine to not be able to gather with family and grieve and comfort one another.

Offline hedgerow

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #1 on: October 26, 2020, 12:17:16 PM »
Sedgehammer. Sorry for your loss. My wife's last aunt passed away a couple weeks ago a non covid death also. A funeral or viewing wasn't allowed. Only a short grave side service of only  close family with mask and every one six feet apart. 

Offline Sedgehammer

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #2 on: October 26, 2020, 12:29:51 PM »
@samandothers I wish it was that way Sam. Family can be really cruel. I haven't talked to several of my family members in years. Some decades. They don't like me much or even my wife and little kids.

My family has cost me in direct payments, businesses given and lost revenue from patents that they took the money for filling them over $15 million conservatively and some of them will tell you to my face that i owe them money.

My one brother who got the family farm, I gave him and his wife nearly $100K when they were farming to help them out, plus 1,000's of hours of free labor and gave him a business after he sold his farm that wood generate $150k a year, he ran it into the ground. They stayed in my 4,300 sq ft house in WI rent free for over 2 years and at every family gettogether she (sister in law) keeps telling the 'family' how much I owe them and how i cheated them.

The other brother I gave him $60k to do the patent work on a piece of equipment I built had designed.  He had a good friend that had several patents at the time and they were going to do all the work to get it done. I needed drawings and stuff like that and my brother was good at it, so.... Well he spent it on a get rich quick scheme. Plus i left him with a business that generated over a million the year before.  He went bankrupt in a little over a year. I gave him $350k for some land investment, he lost that also. plus I still help him out from time to time when he gets in a bind. He's the one that does the SketchUp drawings of the things I posted here. We still get along, even though. Plus there are several smaller things.

Then there's my sister. Well i married her husbands only sister. Was my starter marriage. Well caught her in bed with another guy 3 kids and 4 years later. I got full custody, so I can't go around their place anymore.

That's just my direct family.....

I know some of you'll ask why. yeah, I ask myself that also. Only thing I can directly say is my family was everything to me. You need something, use whatever you need. I just always thought it went both ways. My house in WI when I built it is was made big for family get togethers. I put in a volleyball pit, basketball court, pond for fishing. House had 2 kitchens. Then when I'd set up a party, they wouldn't come. I could never figure it out. well my wife says she thinks it's jealousy and that's why they treat her and our kids the way they do. Also I'm the youngest boy. I looked up to my older brothers. Especially the youngest one. He was a stud in sports, straight a's in school, voted best lookin guy in his class, had women falling all over him...... anyways, my fault in the end.

I'll miss my mom. We were close. I was about the only one that wood call her on a regular basis. I have a voicemail of her from a year ago. I'll keep that as long as i can. I prefer to have the memory of her alive. plus I don't care to have a bunch of fake BS warm feelings that will be gone the moment the people leave, so I'd not go to the funeral anyways. When my dad died in 89 I was in Oregon. They gave me 2 days to get home and if I didn't make it, they weren't delaying the funeral. Said it wood be too close to CHRISTmas. He died on the 12th. I drove through a blizzard in the mountains and was driving 90 mph to catch up and just made it in time.  Weird part was they weren't very close to him, we were like best friends.

That's enough of a rant for now. I just wish people weren't so mean and cruel.

Offline Sedgehammer

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #3 on: October 26, 2020, 03:18:15 PM »
Sedgehammer. Sorry for your loss. My wife's last aunt passed away a couple weeks ago a non covid death also. A funeral or viewing wasn't allowed. Only a short grave side service of only  close family with mask and every one six feet apart.
Thanks Hedge. This is really affecting families in so many ways. None good. 

Offline Walnut Beast

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #4 on: October 26, 2020, 04:04:44 PM »
My Condolences 

Offline Sedgehammer

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #5 on: October 26, 2020, 04:25:57 PM »
My Condolences
Thanks, appreciate it we does!

Offline Chuck White

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #6 on: October 26, 2020, 06:21:52 PM »
Sorry for your loss Sedgehammer.
~Chuck~
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Offline Sedgehammer

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #7 on: October 26, 2020, 06:26:16 PM »
Sorry for your loss Sedgehammer.
Appreciate that Chuck, I do, I do! 

Offline dgdrls

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #8 on: October 26, 2020, 06:31:46 PM »
My condolences on the loss of your Mom,

thoughts and prayers,

Dan

Offline Patrick NC

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #9 on: October 26, 2020, 06:50:39 PM »
Sorry for your loss.
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Offline A-z farmer

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #10 on: October 26, 2020, 06:57:51 PM »
Sorry for the loss of your mom sedgehammer.It is sad but family really knowhow push buttons .But you have a very big family here on the forestry forum and we have your back.

Offline Sedgehammer

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #11 on: October 26, 2020, 07:11:40 PM »
Sorry for the loss of your mom sedgehammer.It is sad but family really knowhow push buttons .But you have a very big family here on the forestry forum and we have your back.
My condolences on the loss of your Mom,

thoughts and prayers,

Dan


Sorry for your loss.

Thanks guys! Yeah family can he hard. I dunno why, but they sure is.
I do like the people on this forum the most of any of the other forums I've been on. I think it's the work ethic that comes with working in nature and hard for yourself and if not for yourself, you still get the common sense and that oozes from this forum's monitor ink.

Offline WV Sawmiller

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #12 on: October 26, 2020, 09:18:25 PM »
Hammer,

   My heart goes out to you in this time of trial made worse by the pandemic and other issues you mention. We just lost my wife's oldest brother this month but fortunately we were able to go to a small memorial service. I hope there can be healing during this time of loss.
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Offline Don P

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #13 on: October 26, 2020, 10:24:55 PM »
I'm sorry for your loss, these times can make it so much harder. We've been unable to be with friends in grief during this and it is tough. I hope your family can find peace.
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An artist uses his brain, his hands, and his heart

Offline Southside

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #14 on: October 26, 2020, 10:26:22 PM »
Sedge, sorry to hear this news.  I had an uncle who passed earlier in the year in California and no services were allowed for him either.  
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Offline samandothers

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #15 on: October 26, 2020, 11:07:22 PM »
Sorry your family have acted the way they have.  Glad you had a good relationship with your mom and hope those happy memories will bring you some comfort.

Offline Stephen1

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #16 on: October 26, 2020, 11:19:03 PM »
Thoughts and prayers as you go through these times. Remeber the good of your Mother and the family. 
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Offline mike_belben

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #17 on: October 27, 2020, 07:37:41 AM »
I can relate sedge.  My father and grandmother raised me.  Back in august massachusetts put in a travel ban that prevented me and the kids from going up to a wedding i was in, and seeing her for the last time.  She would have been proud to see what shed be leaving behind.   passed on 2 mondays ago at 96, God bless her.  


May our loved ones all rest in peace.
Revelation 3:20

Offline 51cub

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #18 on: October 27, 2020, 07:45:35 AM »
So sorry to hear about your loss
I believe in the hereafter, because every time I take two steps into the tool crib to get something I wonder " what did I come in here after"

If nothing else I'm always a good last resort or the guy to hold up as a bad example

Offline Sedgehammer

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Re: My Mom died Friday, funeral home says we can't have a funeral
« Reply #19 on: October 27, 2020, 07:50:27 AM »
Thanks Sawmiller, Don, South, Sam, Stephen, Mike, 51cub. 

luckily we still hang with friends down here. It's slowly spreading and life has pretty much returned to normal here for the most part. Yesterday it was .6% DOD

For you guys that smoke, please stop. I know it's hard, but it's gonna get you. she most likely would've still been here if it wasn't for that. 


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